Not that I expect it from anyone, but if you ever DO go back into the comments on my blog (or anyone else's, for that matter) to see if someone has responded to a comment YOU made, and if you happen to have done so on my previous post about The Professor's birthday, then you may be calculating my age based on his comment.
Or not.
(While I think this is all about me, you are under no obligation to agree.)
In either case, allow me to explain.
It's much like a story problem in math. I am a certain age. I am 3 years older than The Professor. On his birthday, I thought it would be fun if he pretended, just to me, that he was older than I am. You know, to be nice. It was a chivalrous thing to do.
I thought it was a private matter.
And I'm sure he did, too.
However, when he thanked everyone for the birthday wishes in his comment on my post, he divulged the fictional age he had decided to adopt (in all his chivalry), inadvertently triggering a train of thought that any curious person reading his comment would, I assume, think: "Hmmmm. If X equals The Professor's age and Y equals the Number of Years Older she is than he, then The Professor's Wife's age equals X + Y or ______.
ANSWER: Let me be clear: I'M NOT OLDER THAN 61 FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!!!
I am, right now, a little sensitive about aging.
Sorry. I can't help it.
It's not that I have anything against old people. From the perspective of a 12-year-old, I am one. (Geez, from the perspective of a 50-year-old, I am one.) But still....
It has more to do with the fact that, as the years fly by at rakish speeds, I realize how impossible it is to have it all together all at the same time. Just when you figure out some bit of wisdom and start living it...wupp! There go the knees! You've almost figured out how to forgive and forget (Forgetting. Well, now, that's not so hard, is it?) and...flurp! There go the abs. Become more compassionate...blimey! You got jowls. You know what I mean?
But it's especially bad today because it's spring so I'm not wearing long sleeves. AND THE BACKS OF MY ARMS ARE FLAPPING IN THE FREAKING BREEZE!!!
I didn't even master any new insights before that happened. The flab just butted in line.
I hate it when flab butts in line.
*Please feel free to make suggestions. Best title submission wins a prize and the honor of having his/her title grace this post.
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10 comments:
You are a gorgeous, fun, thoughtful Auntie, no matter your age! I do know that time is going by faster the more kids I have and the older I get. So I get yer drift. I wonder what bit of wisdom I missed before my hair started needed a dying about every 3 weeks. Dang. I already feel the relief society arms setting in too. Say it's not so. :(
I hadn't checked back to see Fred's comments on your last post, until you brought it up. I had to check it out then. I'm sure he just loves to kid you, right?!! Pretty funny guy that Freddo!!
lOVE YOU, jANA!!!!
1. Angry With Aging
2. A Woman's Lament
3. Wrinkles in Time
4. For the record (remember those?)
5. Mrs. Robinson Ain't Got Nothin' On Me
6. It's Always Something
7. I'm going to the garden to eat worms
8. Getting Old Sucks
9. The End of Short Sleeves
10. Time For a Cheesecake Lunch.
I feel your pain, sista, cuz I'm there with ya.
Natalie: Funny! I first thought you were giving me a playlist of songs for the critically aged (pronounced a-jed). Ha! Then I remembered there was a contest. THAT I SPONSORED! (Used to be that the "D" word was damn. Now it's dementia.) Damn!
Great titles! My faves: 3, 4, and 8.
mom, i see a flaw (or maybe didn't read carefully enough) - dad didn't say how much older he was pretending to be...so how can anyone calculate your age? except now we can, since you told them.
just wonderin.
love you
i heard michael jackson singing about you on the radio this morning, you pretty young thing.
I guess Annie didn't go back and read Fred's comment on "wishin' and a hopin' " post? Ha ha! That was part of what your posting this time!
I know Annie, too many exclamation marks.
Again, Jana, you nailed it! Annie's always been a speed reader so she must have missed a detail or two. Hi, Annie. Love you.
actually, i DID read the professor's comment. he only said happy 61st to him. he did NOT say how much older that would make him than mom. ergo, 61 could be 10 years older as easily as 1 year older.
so there.
i still think you're pretty, though, mom and jana, even if you think i'm dumb :)
Silly Annie! I do not think you are dumb!!
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