You see, it has come to this...

The floor isn't vibrating any more. The house isn't shaking. I can hear the little sounds again like the clock ticking a mere twelve inches from my head. This can mean only one of two things: either the sound system on the downstairs TV has worn itself out of high decibel capabilities (not likely), or the second (of many) consecutive late night installments of The Annual Fred M. Gedicks Lord of the Rings Christmas Marathon Invitational* has come to an end. And not a minute too soon.

Reporting from our town at about three minutes before the hour of Christmas Day, all is calm, all is bright.

I will see to the stockings and....
then....
drift.....
peacefully....
off....
to....
sleep.

Zzzzzzzz.

Merry Christmas, everyone.

_____________
*Not to be confused with the Bi-Annual Fred M. Gedicks Lord of the Rings Reunion Marathon Invitational.

Experiment 2: We learn from our mistakes

Now, that's an interesting twist. I just completed an explanation for you about this photo and why it's here instead of the one I had hoped to publish. My explanation included a humorous* account of my trials and errors and something about the fact that Jamie's wedding pictures (which I had saved to the same folder) keep popping up instead, every time I try to publish my new-and-improved photo. With nary a glimpse of my edited photo. Not a peek. Not a smidgeonary glance. When I tried to publish the aforementioned explanation, I was told rather rudely by this computer, that I must have double clicked on something-or-other or that someone else must be editing my post. Someone else? When I tried to answer back, it just put its hands over its ears and in a really annoying singsongy voice said,

"I c-a-n-'t h-e-a-r you."

Oh, you silly. It didn't really say that. But I felt like it did. I can be kind of sensitive that way. The nerve.

*in my opinion

In the spirit of full disclosure,

I have to tell you that I'm a sucker for a cowboy. There are no ugly ones, you know.

The reason for this is The Hat. If you think about it, The Hat sits just over the eyebrow covering up most hairstyling indiscretions like comb-overs and mullets.

And it shades any other unfortunate details. Like say... the face, for example.

The Hat's shadow shrouds the cowboy in mystery and...well...any girl's imagination can just run around loose after that.

Mmmm. Duh-licious.*

I offer this photo because if you weren't there, you need to know that I'm pretty sure Kevin and Jamie's big day coincided with Tim McGraw's wedding. I'm pretty sure because I heard he took the missionary lessons.

Don't tell anyone about that last part because I don't think it's public knowledge yet, and I would feel really horrible if I were the one who leaked it out. Also, I'm really good with a secret and I don't want to ruin my reputation.

(But you know it's gotta be true because it's common knowledge that all the U.S. presidents have accepted the gospel in the spirit world. And Winston Churchill and Elvis. Oh, and I think Homer Simpson. To name a few.)

Anyway, the McGraw party tried to keep their shindig on the down low (cowboys are modest like that) but my keen eye spotted a black, dress-up-go-to-meetin' cowboy hat on THE ruggedest, best-looking wrangler this side of the Mississippi Tooele...and then another... and another... and another, until it was pretty obvious that something big was coming down.

Did I mention that cowboys clean up real good?

I cannot be held responsible for what happened next. Actually, any self-respecting member of the paparazzi wedding would've done the exact same thing. I walked right up and snapped me a picture. The result is my contribution to the Jamie/Kevin nuptials. Yippee ki, yi, yo.

My sincere apologies to Kevin and Jamie who do NOT like country music. But cowboys...Oh, they're a horse of a different color.

*Phrase attributed to the 2-yr.-old Amanda G. in the cold cereal aisle at the grocery story.

May I have the envelope please

Due to the high volume of entries in the First Ever NiceA GiveAway, the prize committee has found it necessary to separate the entries into categories as follows (below). The winner of each category will have his/her name printed on a card and entered in the BIG GAME LOTTERY as soon as the most influential member of the committee finishes typing this post. One card will be drawn from the lottery by the accounting arm of the law firm Dewey, Cheatem and How* tonight before midnight Mountain Standard Time. The entrant whose name appears on the card shall be declared the winner. His/her $10 cash grand prize will be sealed inside a genuine paper envelope, stamped and hand carried to an official U.S. Mail drop box at an undisclosed location by the certified driver of an armored a car on Monday Tuesday, December 8 9, 2008, before 5 10:00 p.m. MST. The prize will arrive at the home of the winner within 3 - 5 7 business days. Check your mail box daily! Due to the unavailability of television cameras and an on-site camera crew to document your reaction when you receive your prize, the committee respectfully requests that the winner post a Comment of Acknowledgment of Receivership upon receipt of his/her prize on this very post. (This means that if you're the winner, you must say so in the comment section of this post.) The comment section is closed to any but the winner's comment. Check this blog daily to learn who the winner is! Contest void where no entries were made. Some side effects may occur. If symptoms persist, call your doctor. If you feel that you have reached this number in error, please hang up and try your call again.

CATEGORIES and WINNERS

In the Junior High Student Attitude category, Shawn is the winner with "stupid."

In the In the Spirit of Spiritual Spirituality category, Princess Consuela and Banana Dude wins with "shall be exalted."

In the I Don't Care How Thirsty You Are, If You Didn't Do the Wash then Don't You Dare Take the Last Diet Coke category, Lola wins with "gets the last Diet Coke."

In the She Died as a Martyr, Kings Shall Extoll Her and Nations Revere category, Megara wins with "also does the dishes, the vacuuming, the...."

In the Infliction of Bodily Harm category, Jana is the winner with "sorest bum" and "sorest back."

In the Kiss Up to the Prize Committee category, Annie wins with "has a NiceA."

In the Longest Run-on Sentence slash Run Up and Down the Stairs category, Abby wins with her breathless plea for financial aid.

In the Disqualified Because Your Entry Missed the Deadline but because You're My Favorite Son-in-Law and You Just Took the LSAT I'll Let You Stay in the Contest category, Jeff wins with "I just took the LSAT and did my own laundry."

*legal consulting team of NPR's Car Talk